New Year. New You.

Hello stranger. It’s been a while.

It’s 2017. Yay. The blog is back.

Some would say this news is fantastic. Others would say this news is blogtastic. Some others would say this news is absolutely fan-bloody-blogtastic. Not me. I would say this news is good. It’s good news.

So I gave myself some time off over Christmas. 2 months. I gave myself 2 months off over Christmas from the blog that I write every couple of weeks, in my pants.

I got lazy. I had a mince pie in the first week of November and my body went into Christmas mode. I had lot’s of mince pies. The nicest ones are Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference. Believe me. I tried the lot.

(Christmas mode is coincidently the best description of my current body shape.)

My plan to counteract this laziness/ mince pie obsession? Running.

Good old fashioned, straight down the line, no-nonsense, at a steady pace, with lots of breaks, running.

Long time readers of this blog will remember that this is not the first time I have attempted something like this. Some months ago I wrote a blog about my new healthy eating plan. Something I stuck to religiously.

(I was one Chicken Foo Yung away from the Chinese takeaway guy coming to ours for Christmas dinner this year.)

Enough is enough. So tomorrow morning at 6am I am going to wake up, slip into some Adidas tracksuit bottoms (that have now gone slightly pink ever since Katie washed them with my Santa hat) and run.

Can I run? No. Do I enjoy running? No.

But if I never did things I either couldn’t or didn’t enjoy doing then there wouldn’t be much else left for me to actually do. Most things I can’t do. And I really, truly, genuinely only enjoy a handful of things.

Custard creams etc.

I’m going to take the dog with me. He loves running. He loves everything.

Here’s how I got on the last time I took Ralph with me on a run:

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Running with/after the dog.

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As you can see, he has a strong influence on the route we take.

I don’t run very fast. Some would call it jogging. I don’t run very far. I run for about a mile and look like I’ve done a marathon. I’m not an attractive runner. There’s nothing worse than a toned attractive content runner. Luckily for me I’m a wobbly ugly miserable runner.

My favourite bit of running is the first 30 seconds. It’s all downhill from there. Literally. I never run on an incline.

Little joke for you there.

I’m back! Here’s to 2017! New Year! New You!