Top 5 tips for surviving London in the rain

It’s been raining in London.

We’ve been battered with more than 12 hours of torrential downpours and a weather alert was issued.

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Raindrops on the window.

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It all kicked off on Wednesday morning and since then we’ve seen flooding, disruption for commuters and a 600% increase in novelty umbrella sales.

We’ve all dried off a bit now but more rain is forecast. Worried you won’t be able to cope? Never fear, The Proper Stuff is here with the top 5 tips for surviving London in the rain:

Complain about the weather

Is there anything the Great British public do better than moan about the not so great British weather? Make sure everybody you know is aware of how strongly against the rain you are. Say things like ‘Have you seen it out there?’, ‘It’s not stopped all day’ & ‘I hate rain loads more than you.’

Get a decent umbrella

You’re not going to get very far on a rainy day in London without a decent brolly. I don’t own an umbrella as I am from the north where it’s frowned upon to even wear a coat, never mind carry an umbrella. The rule in Leeds is you turn up soaked and go “Have you seen the bloody weather!?”

Today I saw the most prepared commuter of all time. He came out from the rain, put his brolly down and then put his brolly in a bag. He had a brolly bag. A brolly bag so that his wet brolly didn’t drip on the floor.

Living in London has opened my eyes to so many different things. I didn’t even know you could get brolly bags.

Take it in your stride

Don’t let the rain slow you down.

Maintain that London pace and keep rushing to your destination. The faster you get there, the happier you’ll be. Use your oversized umbrella as a way to barge your way through the crowds and try not to think about your wet socks.

There’s nothing worse than wet socks is there? One usually goes before the other. You almost convince yourself you’ll be able to keep one dry.

“If I walk with a slight limp and hop every 3rd step I might be able to keep my right foot dry” you tell yourself.

Wet socks are inevitable. Embrace them. Splash in a couple of puddles. You don’t see enough puddle splashing if you ask me.

Buy a poncho

Go full tourist and buy a yellow poncho. Stroll around the city like a boss as you stay dry as a bone in your lovely poncho. If you want to look really cool, try rocking the pre-prepared cagoule.

My Dad Fred is a big fan of the cagoule. When I lived at home, he would try and get me to leave the house with a cagoule ‘just in case’. He likes to prepare for every eventuality and is willing to argue with anybody who disagrees with him. The cagoule was blue and red and green and 4 sizes too big for me. I would always refuse to take it.

Me: I’m going out.
Fred: Take this cagoule.
Me: It’s not raining.
Fred: Just take the damn cagoule!

If he’d offered me a bright yellow poncho it might have been a different story.

Stand under a tree

No amount of rain will stop Londoners playing on their phones. Find a tree then stand under the tree and get your phone out. Maybe post a witty tweet about the rain in London? Maybe read a witty blog about the rain in London? Maybe share that witty blog with your friends and family on the various social media channels you use so that witty blog post can be read by many more of the people of London?

Just take the damn cagoule!