5 things to do in London for under £5

£5 doesn’t get you much nowadays.

Especially if you’re in pricey London, where the price of things is often quite… pricey.

Some might say that there’s nothing you can do in London for under £5. To those people I would say “Fools! Prepare to have your minds blown right out of your heads!” I’d encourage them to read this well thought out blog post that clearly lists 5 things to do in London for under £5.

Take a bike ride

Fancy a relaxing afternoon of riding a red bike around one of the busiest cities in the world without a helmet on?

Then why not take a Santander Cycle around London? For just a couple of quid you can take your life in your own hands by navigating your way around tourists taking selfies on the cycle path.

What’s that you say? You don’t want to navigate your way around tourists taking selfies on the cycle path? No problem! Just use the tiny bell provided, indicating that you’d like them to move and they’ll step aside and let you cycle right on with your day.

If you still can’t get those pesky tourist to get the hell out of your way. Do what all British people do when they are at breaking point, exhale slowly and lower your eyebrows.

Total cost: £2

Walk your dog along the river

If you have a four-legged friend and you like to live life on the edge. Why not walk your dog along the River Thames?

Without spending a single penny, you can terrify the general public as your dog bounds up and down the Thames Path. They won’t be expecting to see a dog whilst walking along the River Thames which will evoke either 1 of 2 emotions.

  1. Pure delight. “Oh look a dog how cute etc etc”
  2. Pure terror. “Argh! A dog how scary scary etc etc”

The first emotion is always followed by a kind look from the passerby. A look that says “You are such a great person for owning a dog. If I knew you we’d be best friends. God bless you for bringing your dog into London. You are a hero.” The second emotion is always followed by a look of hatred from the passerby. A look that says “You disgust me”.

Total cost: FREE

The No.11 bus – London’s cheapest bus tour

Taking an open top bus ride is one of the most popular things to do in London. The more popular something is, the more expensive it’s going to be. To quote Bruce Hornsby; That’s just the way it is, somethings will never change.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I like more than to spend £40 to go on a bus. But there must be a way to see London for less?

Well Bruce, let me introduce you to the No.11 bus. London’s cheapest bus tour.

Ok so it’s not an official tour. There’s no official tour guide and it’s not open-top. It’s closed top. It’s a bus, it’s the number 11 bus. But with change to spare from a £2 coin. You’ll be laughing all the way to St.Paul’s. Here’s a list of sights you’ll see on the No.11:

The Houses of Parliament

Nelson’s Column

Westminster Abbey

Horse Guards Parade

St Paul’s Cathedral

When you get to the cathedral there is a Tesco Express so you can buy a Magnum.

Total cost: £3.50

Try to get out of Bank underground station 

What better way to spend an afternoon than trying to navigate your way out of Bank underground station.

If you like mazes (which is everyone) then you’ll love attempting to get out of this labyrinth of a station. Spend hours enjoying the twists and turns, the tunnels and corridors. Looking for an exit? Take your pick! With a plethora of exits to choose from and no real incite into where they will lead you, you’ll return over and over again to recapture the magic of this underground fun kingdom.

Total cost: FREE

Get shouted at by a cyclist

If your dream is to become a YouTube star in a video entitled ‘Idiot pedestrian gets in my way’, then you’ll love this.

Step 1: Find yourself an angry looking man in blue lycra with a Go-Pro strapped to his head.

Step 2: Get in his way.

Step 3: Get shouted at.

Step 4: Wait 24 hours.

Step 5: Enjoy your very own YouTube video complete with angry commentary from an angry cyclist about how much of an idiot you are and how much you got in his way.

You’re then able to share the video on your various social channels so friends and family can see what you’re up to in London. For more info on angry looking men in blue lycra, click here.

Total cost: FREE