My week on Green Tea

Over 98% of Londoners now exclusively drink Green Tea.

That’s a fact. You can’t argue with the facts.

People in London keep telling me how good Green Tea is. Life changing, they tell me. Here’s an example of the kind of conversations I’ve been a part of since moving here:

“I replaced coffee with Green Tea about a month ago and I’ve never felt better. Changed my life. Never felt better. Completely changed my life. I’m healthier. I’m happier. I’ve got more energy. I’m greener. I’m cleaner. I’m leaner. Green Tea. Changed my life. I’ve never felt better. Changed my life. You should change your life. My life is amazing”

I’ve been actively avoiding trying Green Tea for the following reasons:

  • Funny colour
  • Funny smell

I don’t want to change my life. I like cappuccinos. I like lattes. I like Yorkshire Tea.

However, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to see what all the fuss was about. I decided to drink nothing but Green Tea for a week and see if I too, could achieve eternal happiness.

When in London, do as the Londoners do.

My week started by discovering some of the flavours. There’s a lot. I didn’t know where to start.

A plethora of Green Tea is available.

I went for a classic to ease me in gently.

Green Tea.

“Purifying and Restorative.”

The teabag was massive, which I also found disconcerting. It was my first time so I felt nervous about going so big, so soon.

Go big or go home, they say.

I was tempted to go home because I’ve got some posh coffee left over from Christmas which I know for a fact is lovely.

Green Tea wasn’t for me. It was warm, like tea. However, that’s where the similarities end. I put sugar in, which I was later told is wrong.

It tasted as bad as it smelt. I didn’t finish it

I also learned the hard way that the teabag retains a lot of tea.

It was pissing out all over the floor as I went to put it in the bin. Which annoyed me.

Day 2, I decided to get a bit fruity.

Red Berry & Flower.

“Fruity & Refreshing.”

It didn’t actually say which flower was used. I don’t think flowers should be used in drinks.

I have to admit, it was both fruity and refreshing.

I annoyingly enjoyed it. Finished the whole thing. It wasn’t life-changing, but it was good.

Day 3, Peppermint.

Peppermint.

“Fresh and Invigorating.”

You know when you are brushing your teeth and you accidentally use hot water? It tasted exactly like that.

By the fourth day, I was missing tea & coffee. I was missing hot drinks with milk. Again I went for something fruity.

Organic Redbush.

“Sweet & Earthy.”

It tasted like hot Lucozade.

Day 5, I had a coffee. It was lovely. Milk and sugar. Custard cream.

I never quite finished the end of my week on Green Tea. ‘5 Days On Green Tea’ just didn’t have the same ring to it.

I like tea and I like coffee. Although I have had a couple of Red Berry & Flowers since my experiment.

(Less than 12 months in London and I’m drinking flowers.)

I just found it so fruity.

So refreshing.

I’m healthier. I’m happier. I’ve got more energy. I’m greener. I’m cleaner. I’m leaner. Green Tea. Changed my life. I’ve never felt better. Changed my life. You should change your life. My life is amazing.