If you haven’t heard already, it’s not coming home.
England didn’t win the Fifa World Cup. I wrote a blog about how England would definitely win. Even with my lack of football knowledge, I was sure one of Beckham’s kicks would have won us the cup.
It wasn’t meant to be.
So where do we go from here? Like most people reading this, when we lost I took to the streets and started smashing up bus stops and ambulances.
There’s only so many bus stops you can smash up before you think ‘Is this really making me feel any better?’
So what’s the solution? How do we as a nation pull ourselves together? Here are some of the things that have helped me through this difficult time.
Treat yourself to a nice big lunch
Is there anything better than a nice big lunch?
Instead of eating a chicken sandwich, why not try eating a big plate of chips.
I’m not suggesting chips as a long-term solution for the sadness we are feeling. It’s just short term. A temporary deep fried solution.
Lot’s of salt. Lot’s of vinegar. You’ll feel better before you know it.
Listen to the band Travis
I’ve been listening to the band Travis for the past few days.
Travis make me feel happy. Listen to ‘Flowers in the window’.
Travis are the music equivalent of a big hug or a bowl of soup.
Look at this picture of Gareth Southgate hugging his wife
Gareth. You didn’t bring football home.
However, you did bring the nation together. If we forget for a second that we’re all now stuffing our miserable faces with chips and listening to Travis on repeat, we can focus on how we all united as one and backed our boys.
We’re proud of you Gareth.
Thank you for bringing back our belief in the England football team.
Download the ‘Snapchat for dogs’ app
I mean, I don’t know about you but I feel better already.
It’s called Pedigree SelfieSTIX. It’s my new favourite app.
Buy some Yorkshire Tea Biscuit Brew
Ok, just take a moment to breath this in.
Yorkshire Tea have made tea that tastes like biscuits.
I’m going to repeat that. Yorkshire Tea have made tea that tastes like biscuits!
If you don’t feel better by having a cup of tea that tastes like biscuits, there is no hope for you.
Follow these tips and you’ll forget all about how we lost.
You’ll feel like a winner.